Monsterbearda tumblelog

without you:

doctorowl:

i would be playing too much xbox 360.  my life would be more exciting, more involved, more bloody and more significant, but all because i could change it at the touch of a button. in the morning, i would still be me, without a controller.

i would be drinking too much.  i would swing upon the pendulum of my heart breaking and my fists pounding, thinking about how much i missed your face, your hands, your voice, whatever emotion those three beheld.

i would be lonely. i would only feel the hollowed part of each evening, regardless of how many, how few, would sit or not sit next to me. i would only feel, if i felt at all, the absence of you.

i would be far too tired. i would sleep without rest, and rest without any peace. fifteen minutes between lying next to you and waking the same is worth fifteen fifteen times the same amount of sleep with eyes closed but heart racing, racing racing.

This is my friend Cat, who is really more my sister.  And not writing about me, but about her very lovely fiance.

And I liked reading this because it’s how love feels when you lose it, especially “I would only feel the hollowed part of each evening.”

Mostly I liked it because it is how they do not feel, being together.  And it reminds me to believe in that, even when I don’t feel like it at all.

posted 1 day ago