February 2009
37 posts
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Octuplet Mom Out to Make Money! →
This would be funny if it didn’t involve the actual lives of 14 fucking children. Thanks mom!
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January 2009
38 posts
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Let us give thanks
Today is the day of my birth. It happened 27 years ago.
Truth be told, I probably waver between 14 and 65 in terms of maturity. I always hated in RENT when Mimi sings “I’m old for my age.” Because that makes no logical sense. But that’s what linguists call a purist, and I actually don’t like that viewpoint. C’est la vie.
I don’t actually know what...
“I’m toying with my appearance. Be patient.”
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Because I thought it worth being read.
cantoni:
Robert Hass
Meditation at Lagunitas
All the new thinking is about loss. In this it resembles all the old thinking. The idea, for example, that each particular erases the luminous clarity of a general idea. That the clown- faced woodpecker probing the dead sculpted trunk of that black birch is, by his presence, some tragic falling off from a first world of undivided light. Or...
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This is funny →
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25 Random Things. Really? Yes, really
Alright, so I hate internet memes generally, and I hate that we’re supposed to capitalize the word “internet” when it’s so proletarian in nature (That’s right, Orwell). But, whatever. Old boy (or is it Ol’ boy?) Mark Spence in Chicago “tagged” me on Facebook and since I like him (and because I want him to like me), and since this shit is popping up...
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Paper Beats Rock
The shirt I chose to wear today (which I didn’t plan out beforehand, bad idea) seems to think my arms should be about 2 inches shorter than they are. As a result, my fatty-McFat hands hardly fit through the cuffs and I look like some sort of man-child. Mom!
I feel exhausted today. I had two cups of coffee and I’m not feeling anything from it. Like I’ve been up all night. ...
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This is a lot more delightful to read than my last... →
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Monsterbeard: Your effeminate resource since 2008
I’m uncomfortable with the shuffle function on my music because I’m giving up control of the song I will hear next.
If you look at the people you’re following on Tumblr, there’s a selection of five other blogs that “you might also like…” Guess what? All of my suggestions were women. I mean, I refreshed. I looked at probably 50 of these things. Two...
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Best Oscar Discussion Ever →
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“Why does a sandwich that’s been cut in half almost always taste better...”
– Me
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Click Here to Vote! #15 →
My sister’s getting married and she and her bride-to-be (That is to say, the groom) have the chance to win a photobooth for their wedding. Very cool. So click above and go there and vote for #15, because that’s my mom and my sister pictured, and they’re adorable.
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Oscar The Grouch
Oscar nominations are out. I’m a bit flummoxed by them.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button got 13 freaking nominations. That’s all fine and good, but then I see that one of those is Best Picture and another is Best Adapted Screenplay? Are you kidding me? I mean, first of all, I didn’t see the damn movie, and honestly, I don’t plan on it. Why? Here’s why. ...
WatchThis trailer is kind of awful. I spend most of it wishing the narrator would just shut up. But, it also makes you fall in love with the movie before you see it, because:
At this point, after 10 Things I Hate About You and Brick, I’m pretty much willing to follow Joseph Gordon-Levitt into any darkened theater.
Zooey Deschanel is historically a delight.
It has that feel of Eternal...
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Terminator blood money
What the hell?! Chrysler is funding Terminator: Salvation. Chrysler! The company that just got $4 Billion (BILLION!) from the government so they wouldn’t go bankrupt. WHAT?!
Can anyone make sense of this for me, or am I in clusterfuckland?! That’s my money! That’s your money! We shouldn’t have to even pay to go see the movie now. THAT’S MY MONEY!
Damn you,...
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My kingdom for a horse!
In the spirit of the Inauguration, and perhaps the West Wing marathon on Bravo (curse you, Bravo, you androgynous channel of channels! What be you?!), I attempted to take a few pictures of me looking important for antiquity’s sake. I call it: Brave New World.
That is so, so brave.
Today at work I spent most of the day sitting at the computer surfing the internet. Somewhere in there...
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Life clattering on a cold bare floor
Coffee and orange juice we are ready!
Toast and bagel and egg and cheese!
Eat it up, eat it up, eat it up lets go!
Time for Obama, time for a show!
Good morning! It’s weird that I have to watch the Inauguration at 9am instead of noon, but that’s okay because we’re making HIStory, like Michael Jackson, only no one is afraid of it.
And sadly, the West Wing marathon on...
All of this has happened before...
Battlestar Galactica premiered tonight for the final time. This is the last “last” season, apparently, although I doubt Sci-Fi will truly give it up. We’ll always have Caprica.
You won’t find spoilers here. I’m not down with that. Besides, I doubt if half of all my readers (so, that’s like… 2.5?) have even seen an episode of the show, and I’d...
This is how a boulder is moved
The world is unravelling, like a piece of yarn bouncing down the stairs, your fingertips just brushing against it as it goes. We have war and famine and poverty and oppression, and a man lands an airplane on a freezing river. God save the Queen. Sulley is my hero.
My Internship- I work for perhaps the nicest guy ever? I don’t really know because I’ve never worked in an office,...
Shibboleth
Remember that theoretical idea I had about Israel before?
Here’s the thing: It turns out you can do pretty much whatever you want as long as you have a threat to point to. Which is kind of like our justification for every action taken after 9/11.
Does that mean I’m for or against every action our government has taken since 9/11? Neither, sir. With all due respect.
But this is...
I'll be your Evening Star
Look to the Southwest sometime in the evening just after dusk. At first you will be sure that something so bright must be a plane. But it will stay put for longer than you’re comfortable with, and you will realize it is something celestial. It is our sister, Venus.
I got an internship today, which is very exciting for me as it gives me something to do other than, say, the things beneath...
WatchNo, I don’t know why. Yes, I do have this much time on my hands.
Bush Advises Republican Party to be...
Me: Duuuude
Myself: What's up? Just playing some Fallout 3.
Me: Sweet. Check this out: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/11/AR2009011101332.html?hpid=topnews
Myself: Are you kidding me?
Me: Right?!
Myself: You'd think if it was so important, he would have brought it up between his first campaign and now.
Me: I'm just trying to doublethink how water-boarding can be considered compassionate.
Myself: Maybe they think it's like sending a chubby kid to fat camp
Me: Yeah, fat camp, not "physical sensation of drowning" camp.
Myself: Potato, potato.
Me: That really doesn't work over IM
The Remnants →
I don’t know if I’m allowed to embed directly, but check out this web TV pilot from John August. It’s about the end of the world, and it’s also hilarious.
I know, right?!
Me: Did you see this: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article5489141.ece
Myself: brb
Me: ok
Myself: Ok, what?
Me: Click the link, read the article.
Myself: Are you serious?
Me: That a group of thieves who specialize in capturing and ransoming boats were killed immediately after receiving their ransom because their very own boat capsized?
Myself: Yeah
Me: Yeah, i'm serious.
Myself: Do you think in Somalia they spell irony with a gun for the r like the sopranos? Or a starving child for the i?
Me: I'm not sure you could find someone in Somalia who knows how to spell
Myself: Good point
Me: So apparently there's something going on in Israel?
Mr. Speaker, The President of Hope, personified!
So, I submitted an essay to the Presidential Inaugural Committee on what this Inauguration means to me. Here it is:
It was over 500 years ago that people began pouring into this New World for a chance at a better life. Men and women, battling hardship and uncertainty, dared to reach for a place where their dreams could be realized; their freedoms could be had. Over 200 years ago, a gathering...
Prayers of Intercession
You’re back in LA, and trying to think of reasons you’re here, and trying to determine the number of hours the sun will be up upon your face and the number of hours, waking, that you will sit in your bedroom in your apartment staring into a screen that shows all the activities of someone who is trying to avoid any significant activity at all.
This is the way my world ends. Not with...
Anna Karenina is good.
I started reading Anna Karenina shortly after receiving it for Christmas. I can’t really explain why. Before now my only real exposure to the novel was a quip by Dave from NewsRadio about how it ruined his senior year of college, or something like that. An old, dull book from another century that I wouldn’t like.
I’d have to say that it took a smart blogger to change my...
What does this Inauguration mean to you? →
The Presidential Inauguration Committee, or something like that, is asking for essay submissions on what this inauguration means to you. You don’t have to donate, and if you win, you get 2 tickets, airfare, and accommodations to the big dance. The deadline is midnight on January 8th, though, so step up. If I had a social studies class, they’d have an assignment tomorrow morning,...
Destroying Hamas →
This is kind of what I was seeing happening. By the way, when I suggested the what if below, I did not at all mean to imply that Israel is doing it or should do it. I was just wondering aloud if they decided to, why they would be able to.
Making Predictions For 2009
Can you consider something with me?
I know this sounds incredibly sick and morbid, but ever since the shit started in Israel, I can’t help but wonder. Is it possible that Israel could eliminate a large portion of the Palestinian population? And are they in the process of doing that right now?
The headline from today will be obsolete by the same time tomorrow (By the way, that’s...