Hello people of Los Angeles (and any other high population-density area, I suppose),
My catalytic converter was stolen last week! Check out the pics above. Notice the open pipes connected to nothingness. They were supposed to be connected to my catalytic converter!
"What’s a catalytic converter? I don’t know what that is and I refuse to be concerned with it."
I didn’t know what it was until Sunday, when I found out it was missing! A catalytic converter is part of your exhaust system that uses precious metals like platinum and palladium to create a chemical reaction (catalyst!) with your engine exhaust, converting (converter!) the bad chemicals into slightly less bad chemicals!
"Ok, but why would someone want to steal one? That seems dumb, especially if your car already has one."
You’re right! It is dumb. Stealing is dumb in general, and I am someone who has stolen before so now I feel even worse! But they steal them because the precious metals are actually worth money! Like $200 on the street.
"What? I’ve got $200 free dollars on my car right now? Cha-ching!"
No! No cha-ching! Because replacing your catalytic converter (or “cat”, as its called by the pros) will cost you upwards of $2,000. It’s not worth the aggravation.
"Why did the steal yours, and not someone else’s?"
I drive a Honda Element, which is like a little SUV (like the Honda CRV). Because SUVs and trucks sit higher off the ground, it’s easier for evil dickbags to get underneath and steal your cat! With a battery-powered saw they can be in and out with your cat in less than a minute!
"Why are you telling me this? I don’t care about your problems!"
No, but I care about yours! Both the cops AND the insurance companies have been hearing more and more reports of stolen catalytic converters. Especially in Los Angeles. If you or your loved ones have a similar car or truck, it might be a good idea to look into anti-theft protection of your cat, like catclamp.com or catstrap.net.
"Psssh, go away, corporate hack. You’re probably paid by those companies to get people to sign up. I’m not doing that."
Your dismissive attitude hurts my feelings, but this is America and you are allowed to do what you want. By all means, LAY IN THE BED OF YOUR IGNORANCE! But if I had a time machine, the first thing I would do after manipulating the stock market would be to put a protection device on my catalytic converter. That’s all I’m saying.
Good luck, and steal no more!